We all share food (just in different ways)

A uniting factor among all ethnic groups in Ghana is communal eating.  Food is put in the center of the table and you take as you eat.  If someone walks into a room with food, they will automatically say, “you are invited,” as they place the food out. 

It is lovely to always be invited. But because it is a bit different than what I’m used to, this norm can be a bit anxiety inducing when it is my turn to invite.  When I make and order food I think in a ratio of my hunger to money available to procure food.  In the best case scenarios, when I know I will be around people when it is time to eat, I always make sure to bring a bit more than I want to eat so I, too, can invite others.  In worst case scenario, when I am ravenous and have only purchased/prepared enough food for myself and have unsuccessfully forecasted that I will not be around people, I  invite people as I’ve already started wolfing down food.  Sometimes I channel Joey Tribbianai and brazenly refuse to invite.  

Because of American movies and TV shows, Ghanaians know that I do not come from what they would label as a communal eating culture.  Ghanaians will often comment upon this, in a way that suggests that there is nothing communal about my own eating practices.  I take such opportunities to explain the intricacies of the social aspects of American dining practices. I try to explain that fairness is a value that seems to govern our dining habits and that we do share food in our homes, but that we make sure everyone is served an amount before we begin eating.    I explain how we turn communal eating into parties we call potlucks.  I describe how we will often eat off one another’s plates, but that such practices are limited to the relationship shared between people. I describe how I it is common practice and considered polite to offer your dining companions to try your food , especially if you’ve just commented upon how great it tastes.  I relay how it can be an unwritten rule of your relationship with someone that whatever food is individually ordered will be jointly shared.

Just as our non-communal eating habits have degrees of communality, Ghanaian dining habits have degrees of individuality and structured access.  If you’re eating with someone who is of a higher social status, they’re most likely entitled to the choicest pieces of meat.  I’ve heard stories from friends who have found themselves hungry at the end of a meal because even though they were invited to eat, they did not eat fast enough to reach a level of satisfaction. I’ve also seen Ghanaians hide their fish when they know that someone is about to enter the room so that when they invite that person to eat, the fish will not be compromised. Even people part of a communal culture have a little Joey Tribbiani in them.

I think about such behaviors because it shows how complicated cultures are.  There’s a lot of variability within the labels that we carry as part of a particular culture.    Really trying to understand any culture entails parsing out and understanding those deviations from the norm suggested by categorization.